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Saturday, August 20, 2016

amidst







    Amidst my thoughts
I share a blank stare,
surrounded by confusion,
I despair...

Lost I am not,
but uncertain of the path to take,
kill myself ,
dance on my grave.

Caught up
by my own mistakes,
loud voices, I shout
inside my confused thoughts.

Lost.. I am not,
but neither found,
taken,but now alone,
either way I am gone.



Tuesday, March 25, 2014

In toate un glas







si cand credeam ca am gasit oaza de liniste,ca am gasit-o pe Ea
             ,Ea un moment de liniste in aceasta lume asurzitoare,asi fi vrut sa te stiu ca pe o limba moarta sa iti cunosc doar eu toate secretele,tu sa fi un fragment dintr-un vers lipsa,care o ador,sa fi o enigma completandu-mi misterul .

                          Dar probabil te voi pierde caci pierzandu-te  dorul ma va călăuzi pana ce  tu vei fi doar un alt obisnuit,dar te voi tine minte,vocea ta pasiunea din ea,tristetea bucuria, un amalgam de trairi din ea te voi tine minte si candva imi vei reaminte ce am pierdut.
Si ce pierd in continuare,Ea find una dintre Acele,sau poate chiar Ea.

                  Tot ce voiam,tot ce aveam, pierdeam prin simplul fapt ca refuzam.Tot ce asi fi vrut nu o sa am.Totul un vartej,totul doar fum,o spirala al unei nevoi ce a resimt din plin,nevoie de noi,nevoie de dor.Sa simt din nou.
           


            Timpul te invata
             sa nu iti mai pasa
             Ea te linisteste 
            rade puternic,rade fericita
             tot ce zice Ea,timpul nu iarta.


              Te pierde Ea,te regasesti in Ea
               dar Ei tot nu ii va pasa
               Dar tu prin un zambet surd
                O asculti,O simti,O vrei
               Te abtii caci te stii
               Ca tu niciodata nu vei simti


                   Timpul nu iti va permite
                   sa traiesti cu ea cum vrei
                    Tu te pierzi si ierti,
                    Si o vrei fericita
                   Dar tu nu stii ce vrei
                  De teama,de tine.

                 
                 

                         



Friday, February 28, 2014

Till




Till I almost hate
mornings,evenings ,days
fuck you it's ok
fuck you because I want to
fuck you I don't give a fuck
it's always the fuck before all.



and after all the fuck
I just don't really give a fuck
you had my time my heart
you fucked it up
yeah you fucked up
yes I fuck you,
it's all gone.

the fuck

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Mercy

"I don’t want to be at the mercy of my

 emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them,

 and to dominate them."



Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Speechless voices


After all, the fall is sweet
words hurt so deep,
a dying of a simple soul,
It’s not quite eternal…




Made of glass,
shatter once more
break ourselves,
in a thousand and more.

Pieces of us
everywhere we go,
remind us sweetheart.
Mortals!

Sins of the flesh
we crave for lust
devour our love,
 in speechless voices

Inside our souls.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Senseless desires













U I carry on my unexpressed lips
words I swallow just to keep,
eyes search for something missed.
bodies align to reap,
havoc on a silent night.

fall in and out,we lose sight,
but keep in touch
we wage war,we the frontline.
head through a storm
it shreds us in senseless desires,
above and beyond

reckless and higher.

Monday, February 10, 2014

Flaw of a love





february  bring to me
the flaw of a love
 that sickened me.


tempt me to quit,
to reach out, grasp the cold,
to embrace that
emptyness is a form.


tempt me to quit,
make me fall so deep,
to feel lost, to feel weak.

make me do things that I regret,
make me sadder at the end,
make me whatever u want,
just do it quick 
before I'm gone.


it's not quit right
the things we want,
the loves we had
the lyes told,
they rotten the soul,
and prevail us
to be a whole.








Sunday, February 09, 2014

Te va salva

      Poate lucrurile nu sunt chiar cum ti-ai imaginat...numai un pic...incep asa...




Te-ai trezit  intr-o dimineata pur si simplu sfâșiat de panica si anxietate,intr-un minut poate zeci si zeci de ganduri se năpustesc asupra ta,iar tu doar,tu doar suferi nefiind capabil sa faci nimic?
                               Te cuprinde întreaga viata traita intr-un bol din sticla ,cu suficient aer cat de cat sa nu te sufoci,cand totul ti-se pare cladit din carti de joc pe un fundal de nisip miscator...cand totul pare pierdut cand te pierzi cand incepi sa nu respiri cum trebuie cuprins de teroarea viitorului,cand stii ca vei pierde tot,ii vei pierde pe toti cei apropiati tie, al caror voci si fete le vezi in fata ta,le auzi in mintea ta, ti-se sfasie inima,te simti pustiit... 
                     Te trezesti in acea dimineata mai ales in februarie,speriat si cu gandul de a imbratisa pe cineva,dar te intinzi prin pat,iti intinzi bratele sperand ca vei cuprinde pe cineva,ca vei atinge o fiinta calda care la randul ei te va cuprinde si ea,si in acel moment nu te vei mai simti pierdut,speriat,si sfasiat de panica,te vei simti iubit,dorit,mai viu ca niciodata,mai dornic sa iti traiesti viata ca niciodata.
                                   Dar...
iti intinzi bratele,si nu este nimeni acolo,nimeni!!!
Si in acea dimineata de februarie,frig, si nuante de gri, frig si tu singur zaci acolo in acele momente...stiind ca nimeni nu te va salva.
                    Trec si acele momente, iti revii usor,te obliga viata,rutina sa iti revii,aproape ca uiti,dar vei tine minte .
          Ce vei face in continuare...?

......

Friday, February 07, 2014

Storm of a real She


     Storm of a real She


cold is the morning ,when I wake up
afraid of the fact that I'm mortal
I fear death
I feel lost,
felt lost in my dreams
which I forgot in 5 minutes
upon woken up

thoughts about what im going to do
scare  me,getting nowhere fast
nobody wakes me up
no warm lips kissing me
sweet tender love

no voice in the backround
telling me take care
I love you so much.
the routine slowly kills me
oh dear oh God,
days pass through  me
I'm passing through life.

where is the one
that calls me by my name
and hugs me so much
and puts  together once more
all my broken parts.


Monday, February 03, 2014


A remember tempus fugit




seems that air is one thing that keeps on wishing me a breakthrough, the hell we raised together in my soul, is mirrored by a wandering state of alternating heartaches, each one is unique and each one kills, kills more then it feeds the lost.

I wanted to be killed in seasons, killed in the leafs and set free by the wind.

always seemed that you were the only being ,in whose arms I felt sheltered by this terible reality,and you offered me something that I needed the most


Sunday, February 02, 2014

Into the fray

Into the fray



o reflecție a trăirilor  ce le simt eu,
trupul tau un ocean de viata
reflecta in ale ei adâncuri ,
de-a pururi, un suflet pierdut pe multe drumuri.


chiar daca esti aici
tot nu esti,dar eu te simt
departe de tot,
atentia ce imi acorzi, doar un ad-hoc.

in privirea ta desertaciune iubito,
pe mine nu ma vrei
esti atrasa de prospetimea aventurilor
in companie celor ,
care taiau in carne vie
sangele si vorbele lor false
te tin in suspans,
pana ce it all fades ,te lasa.


iubito eu te iert dar nu te uit
te vreau aproape dar departe,
de inima mea ce nu prea se mai zbate,
ce simte ca in zadar cea ce face,
dar mintea mea nu ii da pace,
o amorteste o bate.


tu prin tine traiesti cu cea ce altii te hranesc
minciuni si vrajeli,
pana te prind te dovedesc,
pana toti te aburesc.

dar simte si traieste
alunga teama,
 traieste la vida loca
pana la urma moka,
iti vei dori alinare,
iti vei dori pace

inca o sansa pentru stabilitate.


Volumes of S
Chapter  "14


sgk I

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Sunday 26 "Day of Snow"

Volumes of She
Chapter  "14


      Sunday  26  "Day of Snow"


 Imi doream o alinare,doream  compania ta, tu erai cea care ma linistea,care ma facea sa ma simt in stare sa mut munti.
Tu ai fost,esti si vei ramane adrenalina mea.
Tu erai inspiratia mea pentru toate,si imi dai in continuare inspiratie sa scriu,da...dar ce rezolv am dorinta sa scriu,dar este in zadar.
de ce?
cum tu nu mai faci parte din mine,sau nu vrei sa faci parte,pentru cine sa mai scriu?Eu scriam pentru tine,acuma ramas singur cu mii si mii de idei nu am ce face cu ele.
                                Afara ninge abundent da nu imi pasa,inainte era scanteia ce aprindea in mine o dorinta arzatoare de viata,acuma ma lasa rece,reprezinta doar un obstacol ce ma retine din rutina mea zilnica.
Ce frumos ar fi fost sa am amintiri cu noi,cum ne jucam in zapada,si oriunde asi fi fost ,oricand ar fi nins,m-asi fi gandit la tine la eu,la noi,si asi fi stat in loc si asi fi ras ca un prost,ca un nebun doar singur acolo,si nimeni nu ar fi stiut ca acel prost in acel moment traieste niste emotii si stari atat de puternice incat ii redau vitalitatea,dorinta de a continua.

                                  Oricum sunt locuri ,obiecte pe langa care trec sau le ating imi amintesc de noi,de "our moments spent together" si nu stiu daca aceste clipe ma ranesc sau hranesc.
Nu stiu daca vreodata te voi avea,nu stiu daca vreodata vom fi impreuna ,defapt nu stiu nimic.
                              Sunt  sigur ,ca te iubesc tin la tine foarte mult,si asi face sacrificii pentru tine.
 5 ani 



  Voi continua sa scriu sentimentele mele...cu rost sau fara,ele vor exista aici,vor servi ca amintire sau ca un seif.


           

Thursday, December 05, 2013

shifted emotions

shifted emotions




my dreams involve a passion from my heart
 lost in this world,driven so far,
 far from any reach and beyond.


 you are a word of silence
  is this loud spoken phrase
a book without name.

hidden on a shelf,
 far,far from any reach
reminds a neverending depth
 layer upon layer of shifted emotions
, backgrounded by changing states of mind,
 replenishes the body with constant fear
constant doubt.

 keep second guessing  the reliability of the estranged,
misleading behavior,no emotion what-so-ever
we as humans go a step down on an evolution level.

the masks we used to hide behind
taken us by surprise
they are in control of us
we are a shell of a shell of a spent bullet
no more meaning just sickens the essence.

diluated teardrop in an ocean of rain
all these humans make me go insane
it hurts to find out that I am lost
when I need to be found
shredded shattered ,sceam without any sound.

insomniacal delusions

insomniacal delusions

you were my muse,
my beautiful,
my happy end, my all
your departure rotten my soul, my heart.

miss you in a hurry
 mirrored in a time still
my wandering body
driven by my wondering heart,
leads me to insomnia ,to many thoughts.


although i can sleep i wake up to you,
embedded in my mind,
cant stop thinking at you
my  insomniacal haunt
from the shadows of my brain
why cast this delusional  tricks?
can you feel that i am in hurt? in pain?
or you don't care,
love to drive me insane.


I took you for granted,
but babe I am human,
composed of broken  promises and heart
not skilled in the survival art.

but one thing is true
I really do miss you
even do months have passed
and the alienating process took hold of the game,
give us a couple of days,
 let them pass
you will see ,
that what is in out hearts
makes us lasts.

for a minute in the void
and eternal in this world.


Sunday, September 08, 2013

the time is there,for we who search the pursued tirelessly,and the pursued to be tired of the pursuing
Tell stories

I wish to pursue,a half remembered dream
with you,
you to hold my hand and I to hug you.
Together tell stories and make them come true,
it doesn't matter how big is this world, as long as I got you.
I wished you to known, how much I need(ed) you,
my love come and save me now.
I really need an angel by my side.

Saturday, September 07, 2013

Deep dark night


Deep dark night


Follow you down,beneath the sheats
while you go up,shouting in screams.
While us,we're just playing hide and seek,
deep dark night,devouring our sins.

Let the lust take you by surprise,
loose your breath,choke a little, and die,
Revive your body,your mind is on fire,
burning my love,you burn,fueled with desire,

We fight,scream, and wage wars,
killing each other with slow words,
your voice trembles, as you gasp for air,
your body moves, without despair,

Hearts beat slow and fast at the same time,
we do everything just to survive.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Life is a riddle


Life is a riddle
sometimes a joke at the sickest level,
a battle for courage a war with the world
and yourself.
 A piece of you in reborning death

Eternal thoughts
of what have you become or lost,
a desire to find unity in us.
To feel love,
to feel pain,
yes we do know harm.
Yes we felt years of sorrow,
and experienced that absolute mere        
and joyful state, of being
wanted, liked and loved.
To be hated ,condemned and judged!
To feel the burden
of the entire world on us.

To feel those knife
planted in our backs,
to feel those angels who pulled
them out,
bandaged our souls
and wished us luck & left.


They all are heavy on the soul,
they keep coming back for more and more.

Tears we shed, for the chaos we bred,
 lies told, mischief prevailed!
We all said fuck this world,
said goodbye for sure.
 Now we accept ,the challenges that lay ahead,
 now we embrace, life how it comes ,
and how it end!
We are fighters, and these we are!

Friday, June 08, 2012

Angels are sinners on earth part II


Angels are sinners and sinners are angels,
they feed upon us, we are their sextoys!
We try to redeem our souls
by fighting those wars…
The devil laughs .its getting worse.
We look in each other’s eyes
 we see lies.


They burn us inside ,claiming us alive.
They want us to feed from the tree of hate,
taunting us that this is the only way!


In this vast forest of sins and sinners ,
you stand as a martyr at the gates of heaven,
archangels come to your delight
 helping you in your fight,
 to destroy saints, as they come
to invite, you to the table of truce.

Sinners, demons angels in front of you
fall to your knees ,begging someone to stop you!
The war machine starts ,it now or never ,
the sound of death, heals your soul.


Making you stronger,
you fight as alone, no friendless ,no allies,
it is just you and them this is war!
Indifference you shout,
as they beg mercy at your feet
look upon them, you end them swift.
You are a martyr, did no harm,
you cleansed this world, cuz your conscience means more.

Driven by hate later misplaced ,
you felt it was your duty,
that honor you warship.
Nobody understands what it means to a man,
to be chosen the savior of mankind.
Heaven and hell they all collide,
right above this world we call home.
… infecting us.


Martyr I am ,
like a phoenix, I reborn from the ashes,
smile at you all,
now war is on earth ,
and there is no heaven and hell.
Its man vs man.
Engineered to by destructive,
death is us .
and we are the killers.

 
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