Caterie

Keep remembering fragments of you,
the jokes you've made,
the way you cheered me up,
the smiles you gave.

You tried your best
and I pushed,
to the limit where you were,
caught between given up
and seeing how much more can you take,
my thoughts are,
that it wasn't the right time for us.

I still was caught up in my own things,
didn't learned yet how to give them up,
and you were full of life,
of joyful thoughts,
I couldn't sync myself to stop,
to absolve everything ,
to enjoy and live the moment
with you,with us.

Never known what to say,
I always wrote  down an a sheet of paper,
as white as it was,
my every dark or coloured thought.

Something is wrong with me,
I am dark,nothing personal ,
just can't control myself.

I am lost,caught in a tangled web,
a maze a labyrinth of thoughts,
my deepness cries,
for the what if's
and what not's. 

Alta

One day in another life,
we collide,
shatter in pieces,
rebuild as a whole,
once more I can have you,
look into your eyes,
when they are smiling back at me
with joy with love.

Embrace you in an eternal hug,
never let you go,
my love.

I wonder if out souls
live eternal ?
Reborn again,different time,
different set.

I wonder if I met you
in another life,long time ago?
What we were,because I felt so connected to you
in this one,and I wonder if I see you again
in a different time ,different set.

Felt close to you,so good
like a met you before,
I need answers, need more.

You told me once
you felt the same,
so what is the lesson,
should we learn and gain ?

And if we learn that lesson
we still be together ?
Or things change.
Either way you marked my heart,
engraved my soul.

Still

Still can't believe
I am alone,and she is not with me
can't embrace nor settle down
to me everything right now,
seems pointless like empty ground.

Each decision lacks confidence
acting on impulse,not on ration,
lost o lot of time,
never will I learn my lesson.


Life carried me along,
forward to the break of dawn,
gave me chances,gave me hope
but I am here,still feel alone.

My mind sometimes forgets,
but my heart hurts,regrets.
Once in a while a lonely thought
brings me back to what I have lost.

Never again

I miss her
because I let her in the home of my soul
gave her the key and free will.
Sometimes I miss her laughter
as it echoes inside my mind,my head.
Sometimes I miss her smile
as it flashes in my eyes.
Sometimes I miss her kisses
the warm embrace of her lips.
Sometimes I wish I could have done,
more for me,for her ,for us.

Probably I will remember her
to the day I am gone,
never going to see her,
never is going to be what it was.

EXpect

Maybe I expected a couple of weeks more,

now at the ending a whisper 

or a kind word,a gesture a farewell.

The world is big,maybe we collide,

maybe in this vast land,our eyes catch up again,

in a crowd ,in a distant land.

Foreign to us,but we feel familiar again

enjoy a coffee with a select words spoken,

but our hearts restlessly awoken ,

and once more they beat a rhythm ,

long time ago thought forgiven.

Always thought,

that the world is big enough,

to cover our tracks,

to hide ourselves .

Warrior of light

Life taught me
that I am inexperienced,
yet not fully aware.

Taking things for granted
need to show fear.,
fear of loss,
appreciate what I have,
what I have won,
fear of life,hold tight!
Be strong!Hold my temper.

Judge whilst  blood is cold
hold down on anger,
have patience, keep calm
good things will come.

I believe that dearly
don't lose hope
and love yourself baby.

Reborn

I depart from my past love,
still wounded still hurt.
I move forward unto dawn
don't know the path .


I realize I been negative
all my life,
always unhappy ,
always miserable .

I need to search deep within
heal myself ,
more then skin deep .
Need my mind at ease.

Happy thoughts
to conjure .
Positive vibes in my soul,
change my madness .
Reborn. 

Sweet pain

I followed my heart
blindfolded with lust ,
Even the past
the small imperfections ,
I loved you beyond .

I loved you like
there was nothing for me out there .
Loved you on the edge of my sanity ,
lost you in me incomprehensibility.

And when I did
I lost myself ,
Shattered in pieces
far beyond my grasp.

No horizon in front
I stood there and watched ,
a broken self ,
building against...
A beacon of hope ,
a creator of strength.

Creator

When you shatter
In pieces of a puzzle
Pieces that you thought you lost
You lose yourself in the creation itself .

Rebuild yourself
From a foundation of trust
Rebuild yourself
And stay true to yourself .

You are a master
A slave to none
A creator of your kingdom
A king of your domain .

Fight like a Spartan
Love like there's no tomorrow
Live the moment
Live the fullest .

All that is not

I ran so as I thought
from all that is there ,
and all that is not.

A misfit among all,
lost in comfort
don't  wanna stop.

I thought I am rational,
but i am not.
Reckless behavior.


Stupid decisions
all I lost ...
I taken from myself.

Control

Perhaps I shouldn't
Build up such a crazy desire
Inside that burns with eyes on fire

Can never be free ,because I am always on the run
Hiding from my own reality,for how long .
Can I still evade can I still postpone
I am 27 should I still go on ?

Ended up now taking some risks
Leaving the comfort enjoying the sins
Plunging into unknown,feeling the shock
Absorbing everything that comes ...


I believe what I see,I believe myself
But underneath all I still lying
Still afraid of all.
Life is brutal won't forgive nor forget
If I am going though hell
Surely I won't stop .


There is a place for me also
Somewhere above
Hopes dies last.
And when it does
Abandon all,Abandon yourself.


2017 január 25