Perturbed Discretion ,Promise me beyond 2010 .Decades of Decay, my life explained in my poetry

Perturbed discretion

Open up and smile, lie to me

Just do it beautifully,

I don’t care, your sheer presence

Makes me feel alive.

More often my nights and hours

lost time… become fragments

Of dealt guilt,

Not forgotten or accepted.

I just stare, amazed

How warm- cold are my emotions,

my fears feast on it,

Story’s emerge

and explain  themselves as

Speechless blackouts.

You have a life, your living it

do you really dare to ease up a little bit?

Having thoughts, emotions,

you expelled  them!

Turning around, showing no trauma

accepting just for now, when you get home

your feelings erup ,attacking you.

Shredding you in parts.

You try to do your best,

unanswered questions still remain.

Are you uncertain? always asking…

So how do you feel? In need of a change?

Or just keep doing the same.

Still waiting for a miracle?

I ask you please, explain!

Promise me beyond 2010

Grant me a single wish

my only one:

When life shall end

You’d be my sun,

maintaining my soul

keeping me alive,

With you on my side

I confront my fears,

I can’t die.

My pride, my glory my honor

Is called loyalty.

Tell me…

I’m begging’ on my knees

Can’t you see?

Don’t ask me to leave

you know that I can’t,

I’ve already ended a bound…

no brunette is higher than a blond.

She is beautiful, smart…

but you are the adored,

The First One!

I grant you 7 wishes

but in change, grant me just one:

Promise me!

 that you won’t leave me!

Promise me!,

You’d come!

Decades of Decay

Rotten, infested tress

inhabited by scavengers,

seeking in the midnights’ grasp

poor victims of innocent  pleasures.

Darkness hides screams of madness,

when people fall eaten by maggots’,

involved in this decomposition of the soul,

Soldier of Death takes them from underneath.

Paved roads, lead nowhere

following them recognizing my suicide,

Falling sideways hitting the pavement

blood in my veins’ spoiled by the calmness,

that gentle fall, gentle taste

It’s cold yet still warm, no hope,

my blood offers my shelter ,

black dark tress staring at me…

tall creature’s  scary genetics.

Bastions of a subestimated empire,

Soldiers that have seen decades of decay,

mercenaries hired by the Reaper

Grown  in human material.

I wake up, still laying on the cold pave.

still thinking about you

standing on my knees, crying…

I lose my conscience…

January’s witnessing